Fog
by Auriella
Summary: Jayfeather sighed after her, feeling the fog rush back now that she was gone. He wished that she could've stayed a little longer; it wasn't any fun to dwell on what he couldn't change..." :CinderxJay: :Oneshot:


**AN/ This little oneshot takes place about five moons or so after the end of Eclipse.**

**Dedicated to my best friend, who wanted a CinderxJay oneshot. Happy early birthday! You Zutaraian, you...**

_**Fog**_

a oneshot by auriella

The atmosphere was cool with the mist of fresh-fallen rain, droplets of condensed water rising after a long storm to form a silver fog. Of course, Jayfeather couldn't see it; but the mist felt nice on his pelt, and he'd been cooped up in camp long enough to know just how long that storm had been raging.

It had first begun after Ferncloud had gone into labor; this had been her fourth, and probably last, litter. Jayfeather figured the gray queen _must_ have gotten tired of it by now. Really, what was the point? _Kits are annoying anyways_, he thought, flicking his tail in a surly manner. The gray tom sighed. The rain-laden grass beneath his paws was slippery and hard to grip. He grunted slightly, changing his direction towards the lake. _It would be easier to walk there_, he figured.

As he swerved onto the new path, his thoughts returned to kits, and the earlier birth. It wasn't his first, of course; he remember the day Millie's kits had been born. Jayfeather smiled at the memory, recalling how amazing it had been. He thought back to Leafpool and twitched his whiskers in puzzlement, even though it had been a few moons ago. Hadn't she felt...sad? _Something like that_, Jayfeather thought. _Her mind is always in a fog._

He wondered if it had anything to do with her not being allowed to have kits. It was probably pretty depressing for her. Even though Jayfeather didn't really like kits himself, he knew just how she-cats felt about them; the excitement over a birth, the fuss over a newborn litter...it was always the same. He let out a snort. What was the point in banning medicine cats from having mates and kits? _That must be tough._

Suddenly a thought hit him. _That means you can't, either._ He paused for a moment at this revelation. Sure, Leafpool had given him the good old talk about his 'responsibilities' as a medicine cat; the rules StarClan had laid down. Jayfeather rolled his eyes. Ever since him, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze had started visiting Sol, his opinion of StarClan had dropped even further. Really, they had no power over anything. Who were they to lay rules down for cats who still had the chance to live life as it should be lived? He lashed his tail in anger. When the power of the stars was truly his, the first thing he'd do would be to follow Blackstar's example and renounce StarClan completely.

He sighed glumly, laying down on the damp sands of the lake shore. Waves tickled his paws as he continued to brood. His thoughts soon turned bitter and sarcastic. _I can't ever have kits, because dead cats told me not to._ He was tempted to hiss up at the sky, but StarClan was blinder than him. They'd never see.

_I can't have a mate, either._ He blinked slowly, raising his head off his paws. He hadn't really thought about that, either. Jayfeather narrowed his sky blue eyes. That made even less sense. So now StarClan wouldn't let medicine cats love, either? The tom groaned slightly, shaking his head. Everything inside his mind was jumbled now. Fog clouded his senses. What he once believed seemed oddly unfitting now; the rules, the warrior code, his feelings. Jayfeather sighed, wishing it wasn't so foggy. Maybe then, he wouldn't be thinking so much...

"Hi, Jayfeather!" _Eh?_ Jayfeather turned to face the sound of the voice. He recognized the cat's heavy steps and particular scent; Cinderheart.

"What do you want?" he grumbled. Cinderheart, while annoying, didn't really bother him as much as other cats. Maybe it was because she was actually Cinderpelt; even Jayfeather had to admit that demanded some respect after hearing stories about the brave she-cat.

But maybe it wasn't even that. Cinderheart was a warrior now, and even when things had looked bleak, she had remained determined. Jayfeather wouldn't admit it to anyone but himself, but he actually admired her somewhat; and she was certainly a good friend to have.

Cinderheart's smooth voice interrupted his thoughts. She sounded happy enough, seeming to disregard his last comment. "The lake," she sighed wistfully. "I remember when we came down here to swim." Jayfeather smiled at the memory and noticed something; the fog had mostly gone away. _I suppose talking to Cinderheart took my mind off of it,_ he figured.

"Yes," he said quietly. "I remember too. Now, what're you doing here?" he grunted, slightly puzzled. Most cats wouldn't want to go out of camp when it was so...wet.

The gray she-cat shrugged her muscular shoulders, flicking raindrops off her whiskers at the same time. "I was bored. There are already three patrols out right now, and I was too late to join one," she sighed.

Jayfeather shot a quizzical look in her direction. "So you followed me?" he asked, twitching his ears in slight interest.

Cinderheart mumbled something under her breath before speaking again, this time more clearly. "I didn't _follow_ you," she growled, obviously uncomfortable. "I just saw you going out of camp. So, I tracked you," she squeaked.

Jayfeather couldn't suppress a brisk laugh. "You still act like you're an apprentice," he sneered, rolling his eyes. Almost immediately, he felt indignation seeping through Cinderheart's pelt and wished he hadn't said it. He scanned her mind; her thoughts were wide open, as always. She was definitely angry; that Jayfeather could easily tell. He felt a rare pang of regret.

"I'm a warrior," she snapped, her words coming out in a sharp growl. Jayfeather flinched in spite of himself.

"I know. Sorry," he muttered sullenly, turning away to feel the lake breeze on his face. He heard Cinderheart sigh; she quietly got up and padded beside him, sitting down on the shore. Jayfeather wondered why she was sitting so close to him, but he disregarded it.

"I just...want to enjoy being a warrior. I worked so hard," she sighed. "I don't ever want to be thought of as an apprentice. I was one for too long," she said wistfully, her voice drifting off into a sentimental and wise tone that reminded Jayfeather of Cinderpelt, whom he had once met in one of his dreams. He nodded dully, trying not to let his mind fog up again with thoughts of StarClan and kits.

_And mates_, a voice nagged. Jayfeather huffed out loud, ruffling Cinderheart's whiskers. She sighed, moving a few mouse-tails away. "What's wrong?" she asked, though it sounded like she had even more on her mind than Jayfeather did. The medicine cat shrugged. Things seemed clear for the time that day, and he didn't want to ruin it by driving Cinderheart off with any more of his rambling.

"Nothing," he muttered absentmindedly. Cinderheart rose to her paws, walking impatiently in place.

"Are you going to stay here all day?" she yawned, flicking his side with her tail.

"More or less," Jayfeather sighed, laying his head back on his paws. He heard Cinderheart sigh; was she bored?

"I'm going to see what Honeyfern is doing," she drawled in a tired voice. Jayfeather snorted at the thought of the tabby she-cat.

"Probably tailing Berrynose," he grunted in annoyance. Why did cats have to get so drippy when they fell in love?

Cinderheart seemed calmer now; Jayfeather found himself relaxing as well. "When you're in love with someone, you just want to be with them," she chuckled, flippantly waving her tail.

Jayfeather stayed silent, blinking slowly and wondering if Cinderheart had only been referring to Honeyfern just then. After all, how would _she_ know what it was like to be in love? The tom narrowed his eyes, scanning her mind. Nothing out of the ordinary, but she seemed to be calmer and happier than she usually was. _She's always running around like a kit_, he thought in amusement.

Suddenly Cinderheart leaned down and quickly rasped her tongue over Jayfeather's ear. He stiffened slightly, his blue eyes widening. _Well, that's new._

"Bye, Jayfeather. I'll tell you whether you were right or not," she purred, turning to pad off the lakeshore and disappear into the trees. Jayfeather sighed after her, feeling the fog rush back now that she was gone. He wished that she could've stayed a little longer; it wasn't any fun to dwell on what he couldn't change.

_But I _can_ change it!_ he suddenly realized. He had the power of the stars in his paws! One day, he'd change that stupid rule about medicine cats. _Yeah, that's what I'll do_, he thought numbly, feeling the confusion set over anyway.

Could he really change what had been for seasons? He sighed, feeling as constricted as a mouse caught between a warrior's paws. Names and images of cats ran through his mind in the mental chaos. Leafpool, Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, Squirrelflight, Cinderheart...

He groaned and settled into a daze. Not for the first time in Jayfeather's life, the fog muffled his senses and he felt blinder than ever.


End file.
